Alright, check in time. I can report that I've been able to increase my physical activity level in the past week to working out in some way for at least 30 minutes a day, sometimes more than an hour. I've been doing a lot of home-based workouts, using P90X plus and Livestrong's Stronger programs. As long as I use exercise bands instead of weights and avoid anything that hyper-loads my knee (say, crab walks) then I haven't had any issues. Okay, okay, that first day did hurt a bit but I'm chalking that up to not using the supporting muscles for so long and they may have been cranky as a result. I iced my bad knee for 10 minutes on each side (advice from my chiropractor) and that seemed to do the trick. I did have some evening soreness, but it's hard to say if that was the impending snow storm or exercise related. After day one though exercise hasn't been painful. In fact, yesterday, for the first time in probably a year I did a workout before work. I found my pain levels were much better throughout the day, which surprised me since I always thought I would be living in a world of pain if I stressed my knee by working out first thing in the morning. This is certainly something I'll have to try again on Friday when I have a late-start day.
I will admit I thought the Livestrong program would be a bit too easy for me. While I've gotten out of shape I still have a decent amount of endurance so I thought 30 minutes wouldn't even cause me to sweat. Well, I was wrong. The pool of sweat as I finished the first workout confirmed this was a legit program that could possibly give me some results. The food app is very similar to all the others I've tried, so it does what it should. The host of the workout series is a young guy named Nicky but he's got positive energy and has a very simple moto: I can and I will. I can and I will keep trying to exercise and eat better each day.
I am also noting my pain scale as I try to lose as much weight as possible. So far I still have pain around a 5 or 6 most days, sometimes that's up to an 8 if my leg turns into what I call my "peg leg" feeling. Honestly that's the best description I can give it. I can only feel the medial part of my fibula and it feels like its jammed into the hunk of flesh that is my quad. I don't even feel my knee or my calf, it's that painful. I try to avoid walking when I get my peg leg since it hurts just too much. I pop a couple of 400 Ibuprofens and cross my fingers they will work, most often it just takes the restless feeling away in my leg. I've described it to my husband who just gets frustrated that the medical community's approach for OA in people my age is to do nothing aside from giving the patient heavy drugs to numb the pain. We both believe in addressing the issue, not masking it. I get his frustration. Here I am, trying to lose weight, eating healthy and I'm still in pain. When I look online I see that if I lived in another country I might be able to try other treatments not available to me here; php injections (proven in some studies to be more effective than HA injections), trying a cartilage mesh that re-grows cartilage in the knee, or even partial knee replacements for example. Reading how improved the patients lives are after these treatments is bitter sweet. I'm thrilled there are options that work out there but depressed I don't have any chance of ever accessing them. I've basically been told that unless something dramatic happens otherwise I won't get any further medical intervention until my bad knee decides to total freeze up and become useless. So I feel like I'm waiting for that to happen, which might be 20 more years or it could be 10, either way I face years of pain ahead only to face major surgery. That's partly why I stopped bothering with going to the physiotherapist, the orthopedic specialist and quit taking the gabapentin. It's just depressing. Every time I go just reminds me of how badly I've disabled myself (I caused my accident (I fell, not paying attention) so I feel responsible and forever guilty-yes even a year later-that I did this to myself and have burdened my family with my whining).
I still look passively at knee braces. I know they do help, but I'm not sure if I should bother with them since the swelling in my knee makes wearing one uncomfortable and usually prevents me from continuing a nice solid run...which is kinda the reason I would wear one in the first place. So I go without so I can exercise. The bend in my bad knee is bad. I know it's less than 90 degrees, so exercise at times can look pretty silly when I'm bending down to my toes on one side but can barely bend my other leg. I worry about the muscles in my bad knee/leg. I know because of this they aren't getting the full range of motion and therefore can only shrink and become smaller. That's bad news to a runner. But I continue on because I still can and I will.
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
Monday, January 18, 2016
Tryin' to Keep Rollin'
I think* this flare up is coming to an end. Yay! I realized this morning that I should be thankful for these flare ups so I can appreciate how "good" I feel when I'm not having one.
Last week's diet kinda sucked. I would eat really well until the evening then it pretty much went out the window most days. This week I'll try and do better.
Last week's exercising goal got accomplished; I ran 4 days out of 7-BIG yay!! It wasn't super easy but I managed to do three 4-5km runs and a 7km run on Saturday. I was so proud I took a picture of my sidekick (my dog Peanut). This week I just want to do the same as far as running frequency is concerned, but I also want to get at least 3 strength sessions in. Last week I managed 2 and although it wasn't difficult, finding the time to do it was. This week's challenge will be finding the time during the weekend when my husband is working and its my mother's birthday.
So how's the knee doing? It's generally achy sore, and when I walk I can still feel my tibia (?-I think) hitting my femur after a few minutes of walking but otherwise it's okay. I really think the space between the two bones has decreased since I feel this sensation more than ever, but maybe if I lose more weight that will stop. Time will tell and is certainly faster than waiting for any diagnostic test that may/may not give me an answer. I made myself a deal though. If I get my weight down to what I was before the accident last year, say around 140-150lbs and I still feel like these two bones are hitting each other, I'll see a doctor. I don't think there's anything they will do, but I will push for a new MRI so the progression of this OA can be tracked (something no one seems concerned about except me). I figure if I do everything I can on my end, then they will have do try some kind of treatment if I'm still in pain (and I mean non-drug treatment). We shall see.
Last week's diet kinda sucked. I would eat really well until the evening then it pretty much went out the window most days. This week I'll try and do better.
Last week's exercising goal got accomplished; I ran 4 days out of 7-BIG yay!! It wasn't super easy but I managed to do three 4-5km runs and a 7km run on Saturday. I was so proud I took a picture of my sidekick (my dog Peanut). This week I just want to do the same as far as running frequency is concerned, but I also want to get at least 3 strength sessions in. Last week I managed 2 and although it wasn't difficult, finding the time to do it was. This week's challenge will be finding the time during the weekend when my husband is working and its my mother's birthday.
So how's the knee doing? It's generally achy sore, and when I walk I can still feel my tibia (?-I think) hitting my femur after a few minutes of walking but otherwise it's okay. I really think the space between the two bones has decreased since I feel this sensation more than ever, but maybe if I lose more weight that will stop. Time will tell and is certainly faster than waiting for any diagnostic test that may/may not give me an answer. I made myself a deal though. If I get my weight down to what I was before the accident last year, say around 140-150lbs and I still feel like these two bones are hitting each other, I'll see a doctor. I don't think there's anything they will do, but I will push for a new MRI so the progression of this OA can be tracked (something no one seems concerned about except me). I figure if I do everything I can on my end, then they will have do try some kind of treatment if I'm still in pain (and I mean non-drug treatment). We shall see.
Friday, January 15, 2016
First Flare of 2016
So my management of my knee OA has been going pretty well until this week. I have been taking my Omega 3, reducing my processed food intake and trying really hard to stick to an exercise program. Then winter arrived.
When you read all you can about your "issue" online, you see that "during winter months knee OA can become more painful." Ugh, yeah, just a little bit! At first I figured I would get through one painful day, then that turned into two and now three with the pain only increasing. I'm back to taking pain killers at this point because I am having a hard time walking without looking like I'm stepping on nails. This is very frustrating but I am trying so hard to focus on everything else around me and not on this crazy stabbing pain.
I'm not really sure though what is more frustrating; the fact I have no idea when these flare ups will hit or how long they will last but that even if I tried to engage the medical community about my pain it would fall on deaf ears, I've tried too many times now to waste my time any longer.
Nevertheless, this pain is hard to cope with. People say they know because they have a hip twinge occasionally, but they really have no idea what its like to wake up from a dead sleep in pain, to not be able to move a limb because you are afraid it will cause more pain or debate taking a day off from work just so you don't have to stand up out of bed, (then you realize you HAVE to get out of bed to go to the bathroom, so that usually ends that debate ;-)
Now, I'm not saying there is nothing the medical community can do. I'm sure there are plenty of other pain pills that I could be prescribed, but I personally don't want them after my experience on gabapentin. I know there are better knee braces out there for my knee, but I also don't want to spend the time going to another physiotherapist who will only tell me I should get "XX" brand of brace because that's the one they sell everyone at their clinic. For instance, at my first physiotherapist they only recommended Don Joy. At my second, it was Bregg. The new specialist I saw recommends Bauerfeind. They all scoff at the previous recommendations, claiming their brace is somehow better. Online it doesn't seem so clear cut but I think I need what they call an off-loader brace, which would help take the pressure off the side that causes me the most pain during these flare ups. When I'm not in a flare up my knee hurts, but its more of a dull pain, and is certainly pain I can manage without Tylenol or a brace. But there's the cost. Since I'm not enthusiastic about going through a physiotherapist I would have to purchase this thing on my own since my insurance won't cover it. So far the best ebay deal I can find is for a used brace for $100, although it is missing one of the knee pads. So the struggle continues.
When you read all you can about your "issue" online, you see that "during winter months knee OA can become more painful." Ugh, yeah, just a little bit! At first I figured I would get through one painful day, then that turned into two and now three with the pain only increasing. I'm back to taking pain killers at this point because I am having a hard time walking without looking like I'm stepping on nails. This is very frustrating but I am trying so hard to focus on everything else around me and not on this crazy stabbing pain.
I'm not really sure though what is more frustrating; the fact I have no idea when these flare ups will hit or how long they will last but that even if I tried to engage the medical community about my pain it would fall on deaf ears, I've tried too many times now to waste my time any longer.
Nevertheless, this pain is hard to cope with. People say they know because they have a hip twinge occasionally, but they really have no idea what its like to wake up from a dead sleep in pain, to not be able to move a limb because you are afraid it will cause more pain or debate taking a day off from work just so you don't have to stand up out of bed, (then you realize you HAVE to get out of bed to go to the bathroom, so that usually ends that debate ;-)
Now, I'm not saying there is nothing the medical community can do. I'm sure there are plenty of other pain pills that I could be prescribed, but I personally don't want them after my experience on gabapentin. I know there are better knee braces out there for my knee, but I also don't want to spend the time going to another physiotherapist who will only tell me I should get "XX" brand of brace because that's the one they sell everyone at their clinic. For instance, at my first physiotherapist they only recommended Don Joy. At my second, it was Bregg. The new specialist I saw recommends Bauerfeind. They all scoff at the previous recommendations, claiming their brace is somehow better. Online it doesn't seem so clear cut but I think I need what they call an off-loader brace, which would help take the pressure off the side that causes me the most pain during these flare ups. When I'm not in a flare up my knee hurts, but its more of a dull pain, and is certainly pain I can manage without Tylenol or a brace. But there's the cost. Since I'm not enthusiastic about going through a physiotherapist I would have to purchase this thing on my own since my insurance won't cover it. So far the best ebay deal I can find is for a used brace for $100, although it is missing one of the knee pads. So the struggle continues.
Monday, January 4, 2016
Happy New Year!
Well I made it through the holidays. Thankfully, this year didn't involve a 10 hour drive (total) back and forth to my in-laws. That has consistently given my knee an excuse to stiffen up. Instead I tried to make sure I exercised or ran every day, even if it was just 30 minutes of hatha yoga. I accomplished this most days and found that it does help to move.
Still, it sucks. Knowing that weight loss holds the one and only promise of non-drug pain relief gives my new year's resolutions a new meaning. Now, instead of just trying to lose weight, I'm also trying to reduce my pain.
Even though it feels a bit hopeless I am glad that I'm off the Gabapentin pills. While they gave me blessed relief they also made me feel like I had a constant bitchy/over emotional case of PMS. Coming off them was worse and the withdrawal effects took almost 2 weeks to totally leave my system, often giving me jitters throughout the day. The cost far outweighed the benefit in my case.
So I'm setting my goals. I want to run consistently. No big mileage goal set, just to simply run consistently. During the holidays I did a nice little 2 mile circuit around my neighborhood that was a challenge but achievable. The distance itself isn't the challenge, it is running the distance without pain. So far my knee only twinges at the end of the 2 miles. Today I'm going to go for 2.5 miles...maybe 3 if my knee agrees. The route is super flat, except for a sizeable downhill at the end, so I'm confident I'll be able to do it.
My diet has also been tweaked a little. I'm cutting out processed carbs and continuing with avoiding fried foods when possible. I have noticed a huge difference if I stay away from fried foods for a few weeks than have an order of fries-the next day I feel like I have a peg-leg. The same goes for sugar, but that pretty much goes hand in hand with the processed carbs. My only weakness so far-cookies. Ugh.
I also decided not to bother with seeing my specialist for the time being. I know he wants me to do closed chain exercises, and I have a nice app for that, and lose weight. But I am ignoring his whole "don't run" advice obviously. Aside from that, and because I'm under 40, it appears there's nothing else any doctor will do for me. Sure, I can try every homeopathic intervention out there but when it comes down to it my specialist is correct; lose weight and strengthen my bad leg. That's my prescription for the next 10 years or until the pain gets so bad I can no longer move...and even then I'm betting they will just give me something like gaba to shut me up (no thanks).
It's been almost a year to the date that I did this to myself so I'm done with the whole self-pity thing, trauma caused Knee OA sucks but it is my new reality and like any problem I'm going to try and work through it.
Still, it sucks. Knowing that weight loss holds the one and only promise of non-drug pain relief gives my new year's resolutions a new meaning. Now, instead of just trying to lose weight, I'm also trying to reduce my pain.
Even though it feels a bit hopeless I am glad that I'm off the Gabapentin pills. While they gave me blessed relief they also made me feel like I had a constant bitchy/over emotional case of PMS. Coming off them was worse and the withdrawal effects took almost 2 weeks to totally leave my system, often giving me jitters throughout the day. The cost far outweighed the benefit in my case.
So I'm setting my goals. I want to run consistently. No big mileage goal set, just to simply run consistently. During the holidays I did a nice little 2 mile circuit around my neighborhood that was a challenge but achievable. The distance itself isn't the challenge, it is running the distance without pain. So far my knee only twinges at the end of the 2 miles. Today I'm going to go for 2.5 miles...maybe 3 if my knee agrees. The route is super flat, except for a sizeable downhill at the end, so I'm confident I'll be able to do it.
My diet has also been tweaked a little. I'm cutting out processed carbs and continuing with avoiding fried foods when possible. I have noticed a huge difference if I stay away from fried foods for a few weeks than have an order of fries-the next day I feel like I have a peg-leg. The same goes for sugar, but that pretty much goes hand in hand with the processed carbs. My only weakness so far-cookies. Ugh.
I also decided not to bother with seeing my specialist for the time being. I know he wants me to do closed chain exercises, and I have a nice app for that, and lose weight. But I am ignoring his whole "don't run" advice obviously. Aside from that, and because I'm under 40, it appears there's nothing else any doctor will do for me. Sure, I can try every homeopathic intervention out there but when it comes down to it my specialist is correct; lose weight and strengthen my bad leg. That's my prescription for the next 10 years or until the pain gets so bad I can no longer move...and even then I'm betting they will just give me something like gaba to shut me up (no thanks).
It's been almost a year to the date that I did this to myself so I'm done with the whole self-pity thing, trauma caused Knee OA sucks but it is my new reality and like any problem I'm going to try and work through it.
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