Yesterday I had a really good run. I finally managed to crack 10 km. It took wayyyy longer than it would have 2 years ago, but I still finished without feeling completely destroyed.
I didn't actually intended to run 10 km when I packed my bag yesterday. I grabbed my VFF sprints and some toe socks and decided to see if wearing those made a difference with my knees. I picked a section of trail I've run many times so I would know how far I had gone without constantly checking my phone. I started off slow, but was happily surprised that my knees didn't twinge a bit. Keeping my stride very short I plodded along, dodging sharp rocks and roots and it rained lightly overhead. I was happy for the canopy of trees so I could avoid getting soaked. I checked my phone and saw I had covered 3.3km. So far so good I thought so I figured I would keep going until I was doing more walking than running. The next thing I knew my phone read 5.1km. Sweet! I turned around and headed back the way I came. My quads and hamstrings felt a bit tight around the 8km mark but still, no knee twinges or shots of pain. In fact, the body part that hurt the worst was the bottom of my feet. It's been a long time since I've worn my VFFs and my tough feet pads have clearly softened up.
So am I on to something with this VFF thing? I don't know but yesterday's run has me thinking maybe wearing those might be the safest alternative for my own knees.
I had switched back to running shoes a couple of years ago when I got really into trail running. The trails around my area, the really fun trails that is, require a sturdy, padded shoe. The rocks can be huge and often the trail bed is clay, which in wet weather, can make your VFFs ice skates. However, I'm not typically running those trails nowadays. Nowadays the trails I travel are pretty tame, with crushed gravel and gentle slopes. That doesn't mean I still don't hit the fun trails every now and again, but the length is usually 1-2kms, not 10 or 20. So I guess there's no harm in switching to VFFs for a bit of training. Wearing them made my calves and feet stronger than they've ever been and recovering from runs was exceptionally fast. Hopefully my previous experience with them will repeat itself.
Wednesday, June 22, 2016
Tuesday, June 14, 2016
Hey "Good" knee-BEHAVE!
Wow, yesterday's run sucked SO bad. My tenacity kept me going through until I reached my goal. My whole body felt slow and lethargic starting out, which usually shakes off after a minute or so but just didn't this time for the whole run. Ugh. On top of that my GOOD knee kept having this periodic snapping pain across the front of my kneecap. It would be so sharp I would immediately stop running and walk like someone had kicked me square on the knee. It seemed to be worse on the inclines so I figured I was over striding and quickly tried to fix the situation by playing a 180 bpm podrunner song and shortening my stride. It helped a bit but not totally. It was only when I put more pressure on my bad knee that my good knee decided to ease up. Crazy. I can't tell anyone about it because, really, my GOOD knee now?! Seriously WTH??
I did some Googling and figured out it's probably a bit of tendonitis so I'm going to tape the good knee and see if that helps today. Holy hell, I sure hope it does because, I don't know if I can cope with both knees giving me grief. I can barely handle one!
All this on my first day of secret marathon training. I say secret because I'll tell my husband nothing until I can confidently run 20km again without pain. Once I can do that I'll feel confident to tell him my plan to conquer the marathon again. This week my mileage is 5km three times and then a 10km long run. Totally manageable...as long as my knees hold up.
I did some Googling and figured out it's probably a bit of tendonitis so I'm going to tape the good knee and see if that helps today. Holy hell, I sure hope it does because, I don't know if I can cope with both knees giving me grief. I can barely handle one!
All this on my first day of secret marathon training. I say secret because I'll tell my husband nothing until I can confidently run 20km again without pain. Once I can do that I'll feel confident to tell him my plan to conquer the marathon again. This week my mileage is 5km three times and then a 10km long run. Totally manageable...as long as my knees hold up.
Wednesday, June 8, 2016
Reigning in Thoughts of Lofty Goals
Running through the trails last night I thought a lot about my goals and if I even want any right now. A friend of mine had just stated that she was going to run another marathon this September and part of me wanted to say "me too!" The other part of me knows I would get zero support for that idea at home so I pushed it aside. The I started thinking.
If I were able to get through the first month of training, would the support at home change? I doubt it. In fact I would probably get reamed out for "trying to hurt myself" as opposed to trying to better myself. Could I do it? I don't know. You see, I have this medal hanger beside my bed that says "The only way to define your limits is to go beyond them." I try to aim for this in my running. I could run a marathon and 50ks before my accident and subsequent OA diagnosis, but can I do it now? Part of me wants to find out and another part thinks I'm crazy and should just be grateful to run 10ks without much pain. But could I go further?? I want to try.
Last year I trained and ran a half marathon. It went great until the 15k mark (literally, once I saw that sign it felt like someone had kicked me in the knee). From that point to the 21k finish my sweet brother and I ran/walked the final, slow 6km. I finished it but it was ugly. Should I just try and finish a half successfully or aim for the big prize of the marathon? Ugh, decisions. If I don't run a marathon this year it will have been 3 years since I completed anything longer than 35km race. For someone who usually ran at least one marathon and a 50k a year this feels like a really long running layoff.
I think I'll need to go for another run tonight to decide.
If I were able to get through the first month of training, would the support at home change? I doubt it. In fact I would probably get reamed out for "trying to hurt myself" as opposed to trying to better myself. Could I do it? I don't know. You see, I have this medal hanger beside my bed that says "The only way to define your limits is to go beyond them." I try to aim for this in my running. I could run a marathon and 50ks before my accident and subsequent OA diagnosis, but can I do it now? Part of me wants to find out and another part thinks I'm crazy and should just be grateful to run 10ks without much pain. But could I go further?? I want to try.
Last year I trained and ran a half marathon. It went great until the 15k mark (literally, once I saw that sign it felt like someone had kicked me in the knee). From that point to the 21k finish my sweet brother and I ran/walked the final, slow 6km. I finished it but it was ugly. Should I just try and finish a half successfully or aim for the big prize of the marathon? Ugh, decisions. If I don't run a marathon this year it will have been 3 years since I completed anything longer than 35km race. For someone who usually ran at least one marathon and a 50k a year this feels like a really long running layoff.
I think I'll need to go for another run tonight to decide.
Wednesday, June 1, 2016
Doing this on my own-but I guess I always was
Life has gotten in the way of any decent running this past week. It's been a series of recital rehearsals then two recitals, a hospitalized uncle to visit, dance practice for my daughter, and oh my sister-in law is visiting. I am so looking forward to this weekend when I can sleep in and run on my favorite trail. The best part is, the leaves are finally out so it makes my favorite trail system feel like a scene in Lord of the Rings.
This afternoon though I'm getting a run-commute in. It's gorgeous outside so it will be a real treat. The best part is, I remembered to put on some KT tape around my knee, so I won't be hobbling towards the end...I hope. I think I'm finally starting to accept that my knee is how it is now and I need to adjust to this new reality. No one is going to adjust for me, and no one seems capable of relieving my pain, much to my disgust with modern medicine. My doctor says to giv'r, so I will. I have even ventured up and down the stairs at work more in the past few days than I have in over a year. Thankfully it is actually getting easier and less painful. I guess it's true when they say if you don't use it, you lose it. Mind you, I'm still as slow as a turtle going up those stairs and grip the handrail with life-or-death-desperation when descending, but it is getting easier!
My knee swelling is still an issue. I'm going to start icing it again at the end of the day and see if that helps. The KT tape, in an edema formation, has helped with the "water on the knee" swelling but I still have an obscene amount of swelling behind my knee. With summer coming, and leg swelling being common in my family, I'd really like to get that under control.
Well, off I go into another day. Today I'm aiming for between 5-6km for my run commute. Preferably closer to that 6km mark ;-)
This afternoon though I'm getting a run-commute in. It's gorgeous outside so it will be a real treat. The best part is, I remembered to put on some KT tape around my knee, so I won't be hobbling towards the end...I hope. I think I'm finally starting to accept that my knee is how it is now and I need to adjust to this new reality. No one is going to adjust for me, and no one seems capable of relieving my pain, much to my disgust with modern medicine. My doctor says to giv'r, so I will. I have even ventured up and down the stairs at work more in the past few days than I have in over a year. Thankfully it is actually getting easier and less painful. I guess it's true when they say if you don't use it, you lose it. Mind you, I'm still as slow as a turtle going up those stairs and grip the handrail with life-or-death-desperation when descending, but it is getting easier!
My knee swelling is still an issue. I'm going to start icing it again at the end of the day and see if that helps. The KT tape, in an edema formation, has helped with the "water on the knee" swelling but I still have an obscene amount of swelling behind my knee. With summer coming, and leg swelling being common in my family, I'd really like to get that under control.
Well, off I go into another day. Today I'm aiming for between 5-6km for my run commute. Preferably closer to that 6km mark ;-)
Thursday, May 26, 2016
Groundhog Day?
I had my follow up appointment with my new specialist. I feel like he didn't even look at my first report by the way he just brushed off my symptoms with a broad-stroked brush. He essentially said that my knee isn't as bad as I seem to think it is. That 67% of medical students showed the same amount of damage that I have, so I guess, what's the big deal with my knee? My problem is that I didn't have crepitus until after my fall, and that the pain is so bad it haunts me day and night, never mind that my knee has been twice the size of the other one for over a year. I tried to ask pointed questions but he said all my pain is caused by this cartilage damage and until I can't walk any more there's nothing he can do. He said there's no restrictions, I can run and do whatever I want. Great, I guess? So I guess I'll have at it until, what? I end up on the side of the road one day because my leg gives out? Okay...the last time I ran further than 15km I ended up in the ER but yeah, sure, I'll go train for that marathon, that sounds like solid advice. Didn't my last specialist say something like this too? I feel like I just wasted a year of trying to find out why some cartilage damage keeps me up at night and clutching my leg for 10 minutes at a time during the day to end up exactly where I was with my previous doctor.
I feel defeated. I am also fed up with the medical system. My husband wants me to try acupuncture, and while I agree it would help I don't want to see my GP again for this, never mind taking more time out to attend more appointments. After 18 months of this crap, I'm done.
So what am I going to do? Well, I am currently trying different KT taping positions to see if that helps. No matter how frustrated I get I still can't get rid of this constant pain so I need to figure something (non-drug related) out for some relief.
I hate this.
I feel defeated. I am also fed up with the medical system. My husband wants me to try acupuncture, and while I agree it would help I don't want to see my GP again for this, never mind taking more time out to attend more appointments. After 18 months of this crap, I'm done.
So what am I going to do? Well, I am currently trying different KT taping positions to see if that helps. No matter how frustrated I get I still can't get rid of this constant pain so I need to figure something (non-drug related) out for some relief.
I hate this.
Tuesday, May 17, 2016
And the results are in...again
Well, it took 2 attempts but I finally got a copy of my latest MRI report. The diagnosis is bitter-sweet I guess. No major issues with my ligaments and meniscus. That's good, but it doesn't explain my medial knee pain. It again confirmed I have a severe (grade 3) case of chondromalasia patella and I have water on the knee and edema inside the knee joint. So it sounds like the underside of my kneecap resembles crab meat sitting in swelling and the top of my kneecap is swollen. Google pretty much confirmed that. It explains that floating feeling I get from my kneecap when I walk on that leg.
So, what's the treatment? I feel like I'm living Groundhog day. Strengthen the leg muscles, use heat, try injections, and avoid cut and run exercises (darn, no more football, and just when my career with the NFL was taking off-lol). It sounds like running isn't recommended, pshaw I say! I have done all of this. And I've done it all again, and again and I still have medial knee pain. I know the itchy feeling is that crab meat rubbing around. I know the water on my knee and how it causes specific pain on the top of my knee and the patellar tendon gets aggravated. All of this I've become accustomed to and can live with. I just want an answer why the "good" side of my knee hurts worse than the side that's supposed to have next-to bone on bone damage. Honestly, that's my only question. If my new specialist can answer that for me, instead of telling me it's all in my head, then I'll be a happy, compliant patient. If I hear about how I need to strengthen my legs I might flip a table. I ran 50ks for god's sake, and ran 60k a week until my accident. My leg muscles are already stronger than most people so how is getting them any stronger going to help? I tried the injections and I tried the heat. Heat does actually help, but am I supposed to carry around a heating pad forever? How exactly will that work in the middle of a trail race? "Oh just a sec, I need to find a microwave to heat up my pad. Uh huh." It is incredibly frustrating.
The ridiculous part is that I feel like I don't have the right to complain about it. That because I did this to myself, by accident, that I need to suck it up and keep up my previous life-pace. Maybe I'm just searching for an excuse but this medial knee pain is real, and it wakes me up from a deep sleep almost nightly.
So I'm quickly getting to that point. That point where you just want the pain and the frustration to go away. Pushing the pain and feelings to the back of my mind helps until the pain gets to be too much and I'm back at a specialist or my GP complaining, again. I just wanted a simple, cut and dry answer. "X is damaged and this is how it is fixed." Instead I got nasty pain with swelling that will never go away and will get worse, and in 20 years I'll probably need a knee replacement. Double Ugh. But for now, when I still want to be active and live life to the fullest, I can't.
So, what's the treatment? I feel like I'm living Groundhog day. Strengthen the leg muscles, use heat, try injections, and avoid cut and run exercises (darn, no more football, and just when my career with the NFL was taking off-lol). It sounds like running isn't recommended, pshaw I say! I have done all of this. And I've done it all again, and again and I still have medial knee pain. I know the itchy feeling is that crab meat rubbing around. I know the water on my knee and how it causes specific pain on the top of my knee and the patellar tendon gets aggravated. All of this I've become accustomed to and can live with. I just want an answer why the "good" side of my knee hurts worse than the side that's supposed to have next-to bone on bone damage. Honestly, that's my only question. If my new specialist can answer that for me, instead of telling me it's all in my head, then I'll be a happy, compliant patient. If I hear about how I need to strengthen my legs I might flip a table. I ran 50ks for god's sake, and ran 60k a week until my accident. My leg muscles are already stronger than most people so how is getting them any stronger going to help? I tried the injections and I tried the heat. Heat does actually help, but am I supposed to carry around a heating pad forever? How exactly will that work in the middle of a trail race? "Oh just a sec, I need to find a microwave to heat up my pad. Uh huh." It is incredibly frustrating.
The ridiculous part is that I feel like I don't have the right to complain about it. That because I did this to myself, by accident, that I need to suck it up and keep up my previous life-pace. Maybe I'm just searching for an excuse but this medial knee pain is real, and it wakes me up from a deep sleep almost nightly.
So I'm quickly getting to that point. That point where you just want the pain and the frustration to go away. Pushing the pain and feelings to the back of my mind helps until the pain gets to be too much and I'm back at a specialist or my GP complaining, again. I just wanted a simple, cut and dry answer. "X is damaged and this is how it is fixed." Instead I got nasty pain with swelling that will never go away and will get worse, and in 20 years I'll probably need a knee replacement. Double Ugh. But for now, when I still want to be active and live life to the fullest, I can't.
Monday, May 16, 2016
It was a long, sleepless weekend
What an exhausting weekend. The most frustrating part of that is that I don't know if it was my arthritis or some new issue that caused me the pain and exhaustion all weekend. I slept horribly both nights. Both nights waking up due to searing hot pain shooting through my knee. Sunday was much worse as I had to get out of bed for over an hour to wait for some pain meds to kick in enough so I could go back to sleep. Is this the kind of night I can expect going forward? Sporadic sleep, pain ridden mornings and never knowing if today will be a "good" day where the pain eventually fades and I can pretend for a few hours like my leg is not a constant source of pain?
It wasn't like I did anything special. Sure, I walked the local mall with my mother, brother and my daughter for hours, but it wasn't difficult, or taxing. Surely a 10km run would cause me more grief?
Running on Sunday was totally possible in my schedule but after only having 4 hours of continuous sleep I wasn't feeling much like running anywhere except to my couch with more advil.
So I still have 10 more days to wait before I see my specialist BUT I have devised a plan to get my grubby hands on my mri report before that. I called my GP and she's getting me a copy of it today. Today! Today I can read the medical mumbo-jumbo (if there is any) and google it up to see what's going on in there. Today I can find out if I simply have a nasty case of OA or if there is something in there they can actually fix and give me some kind of relief. Now, the treatment plan is something I need to wait on but at least I'll have a better idea if I'm walking into my next specialist appointment to hear "there's nothing we can do, here's a brace or some meds" or "you have X and this is what we'll do or not do." The anticipation!!
It wasn't like I did anything special. Sure, I walked the local mall with my mother, brother and my daughter for hours, but it wasn't difficult, or taxing. Surely a 10km run would cause me more grief?
Running on Sunday was totally possible in my schedule but after only having 4 hours of continuous sleep I wasn't feeling much like running anywhere except to my couch with more advil.
So I still have 10 more days to wait before I see my specialist BUT I have devised a plan to get my grubby hands on my mri report before that. I called my GP and she's getting me a copy of it today. Today! Today I can read the medical mumbo-jumbo (if there is any) and google it up to see what's going on in there. Today I can find out if I simply have a nasty case of OA or if there is something in there they can actually fix and give me some kind of relief. Now, the treatment plan is something I need to wait on but at least I'll have a better idea if I'm walking into my next specialist appointment to hear "there's nothing we can do, here's a brace or some meds" or "you have X and this is what we'll do or not do." The anticipation!!
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