Well, it took 2 attempts but I finally got a copy of my latest MRI report. The diagnosis is bitter-sweet I guess. No major issues with my ligaments and meniscus. That's good, but it doesn't explain my medial knee pain. It again confirmed I have a severe (grade 3) case of chondromalasia patella and I have water on the knee and edema inside the knee joint. So it sounds like the underside of my kneecap resembles crab meat sitting in swelling and the top of my kneecap is swollen. Google pretty much confirmed that. It explains that floating feeling I get from my kneecap when I walk on that leg.
So, what's the treatment? I feel like I'm living Groundhog day. Strengthen the leg muscles, use heat, try injections, and avoid cut and run exercises (darn, no more football, and just when my career with the NFL was taking off-lol). It sounds like running isn't recommended, pshaw I say! I have done all of this. And I've done it all again, and again and I still have medial knee pain. I know the itchy feeling is that crab meat rubbing around. I know the water on my knee and how it causes specific pain on the top of my knee and the patellar tendon gets aggravated. All of this I've become accustomed to and can live with. I just want an answer why the "good" side of my knee hurts worse than the side that's supposed to have next-to bone on bone damage. Honestly, that's my only question. If my new specialist can answer that for me, instead of telling me it's all in my head, then I'll be a happy, compliant patient. If I hear about how I need to strengthen my legs I might flip a table. I ran 50ks for god's sake, and ran 60k a week until my accident. My leg muscles are already stronger than most people so how is getting them any stronger going to help? I tried the injections and I tried the heat. Heat does actually help, but am I supposed to carry around a heating pad forever? How exactly will that work in the middle of a trail race? "Oh just a sec, I need to find a microwave to heat up my pad. Uh huh." It is incredibly frustrating.
The ridiculous part is that I feel like I don't have the right to complain about it. That because I did this to myself, by accident, that I need to suck it up and keep up my previous life-pace. Maybe I'm just searching for an excuse but this medial knee pain is real, and it wakes me up from a deep sleep almost nightly.
So I'm quickly getting to that point. That point where you just want the pain and the frustration to go away. Pushing the pain and feelings to the back of my mind helps until the pain gets to be too much and I'm back at a specialist or my GP complaining, again. I just wanted a simple, cut and dry answer. "X is damaged and this is how it is fixed." Instead I got nasty pain with swelling that will never go away and will get worse, and in 20 years I'll probably need a knee replacement. Double Ugh. But for now, when I still want to be active and live life to the fullest, I can't.
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