The results are in but...

I have always been called a patient person. As a teacher I heard it from both the parents and their children frequently, especially since I handled only children with learning disabilities and those with ADD/ADHD. This knee experience though has brought me to a new level of patience.
I've had this knee pain for oh, about 7 to 8 months now, ever since my patella crack healed up. I've seen specialists, a chiropractor, physiotherapists, GPs, ER doctors and finally my new specialist saw the value in me getting another MRI. Last weekend I got the MRI and now my specialist has the results. BUT I have to wait. My specialist is super popular and I get that, but between his schedule and my daughter's dance competition I now have to wait another 3 weeks to get the results and find out what the rehab plan is. This is incredibly frustrating, maddening and depressing.
My knee has felt like crap for a solid week now. Yesterday's run commute was painful, literally. I took many walk breaks because running while you can feel one side of your knee banging into the lower leg bone hurts and is incredibly distracting. I kept trying to distract myself from the sensation; think of flowers! I told myself, or focus on the waterfront! Look at the boats! None of it really helped. Then I tried changing my gait, trying to land on my forefoot, then my heel, nothing making much of a difference for more than a few steps. Walking was not too painful so I tried to speed walk to make the most of my time. So after 4km I gave up and waited for the bus to take me the rest of the way home. All I could think about was how, only 2 years ago, I would have kept going all the way home, enjoying the extra time I had available that particular day to bang out a nice 11kms. Then I counted the full marathons I've done (4) and how many ultras I've done (3, but only finished 2 completely), then wondered if I'll ever do another one again. How depressing.
My husband was empathetic about the situation but there's not much he can do. We're both trying to get through this. I'm trying hard not to be cranky and complain about my knee as much as I could. I also try to do everything I used to do physically, sometimes to my own detriment. He's trying not to be negative and bleak about the future for my knee and for my running while also being sympathetic. It's be hard for both of us. Then I feel guilty on top of all that for having the accident to begin with and putting us both in this situation. Ugh. And so, I wait, some more.